Princess · of · the · Great · King

wow, my life feels soooo boring lately. nothing but going to work and school, and the occasional walk with Titus.
Last Sunday at church our youth pastor sugested to me that I start a 'small group'/Sunday school for the college age. I must admit I was really shocked and flattered at the same time. I immediately had the same feelings that Moses decribed when God told him that he was going to be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. "what me??? are you sure, LORD??" I really feel like I need a swift kick in the behind when it comes to being bold for Christ. I want to be involved in that sort of activity, but I don't feel adaquate enought to lead it. That night I was reading in the story of Moses in Exodus and the words cut me like a knife; it was exactly what I needed: "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD?" Exodus 4:11. So, now that I know God will be with me, I just need the guts to take action. :) which leaves me right back where I was in the beginning. haha not really, but kinda...
I really do want to do this... maybe it'll let me meet more people. I don't know anybody here (well, almost nobody), and some friends with my same belifs would really be nice right about now. Proverbs 27:17... I'm in desperate need of some iron!! :D

take care all

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. Whats your philosophy on life?
11. Would you have my back in a fight?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. Would you give me a kidney?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
19. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. Would you drive across country with me?
22. Do you think I'm attractive?
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
26. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
29. Do you prefer apples and bananas or eeples and beeneenees?
30. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
31. Would you go skydiving with me?
32. So next week then maybe?
33. Would you ever have crazy monkey-like sex with me?
34. Would you ever have crazy monkey-like sex period?
35. Are both of your legs the same length?
36. What about your arms?
37. Hold your arms out like an airplane and have somebody draw a box around you. Are you a square or a rectangle or a trapezoid?
38. What is your favorite kind of underwear?
39. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
41. What comes after 39?
42. Now isn't my version just so much better?

Last night Robbie and I had a double blind date. It was pretty fun, actually. I set him up with a girl I work with at the Rainforest and she set me up with one of her friends. Originally it was going to be a double date with only her and Robbie going on a blind date, but then Jesse broke up with me and so she talked to her freind about it, told him the situation, and he said that he would go. We went out to eat at Mesquete Creek (great restaurant!), and then went bowling. I was sooo nervous at dinner that I wasn't very hungry, neither was Elissa, we both got salads....hahaha! Bowling was a blast! I've been wanting to go for the longest time. I did alright, Robbie was kickin' some major butt! Elissa was alright and D.J. was horrible. It was great fun though. He would just walk up there, stand on the line, and practically just drop the ball down the lane. Elissa and Robbie told me to give him lessons (they really just saw that as a photo oportune moment) I tried to show him the 'technique' behind it, but I think he was satisfied with his method more, lol, even though it wasn't very effective. We played about 4 games (time limit ran up before we could finish the fourth). I had a good time, it was a little akward just becasue I know I'm not ready for a relationship, which he knew too. But it's nice to meet new people. He was a sweet guy, I think if he were to ask me out on another date I would go, just to get to know him a little more, but who knows, he didn't seem very interested. OH, well, I'll be okay. :D
School starts in about a month. I'm going to head out there a few days earlier than normal so that I can get things set up for Homework House, and I need to get moved in, unpacked and everything before classes start. I've been having a 'field day' trying to get housing and financial aid set up for the fall. Mom won't let me use her taxes and can't use dad's either, and government won't let you use your own before you're 24, unless your married. ahaha... I don't even know if I will be by that time!! the way my life is going...hahaha! Oh well, whatever the Lord has for me, whether it means I have to be patient for 5 years or my whole life, i'll take because it's His will, and that's what I want most in my life.
Psalm 51 has been my constant prayer for the past 3 or 4 weeks. it's really good... read it!!!

~'til next time
May He create a clean heart and a steadfast spirit within you.

well, i'm home for the summer.. huuurah... and working my butt off. (hopefully litterally, lol) i'm still working at the Rainforest Cafe, and got another job working at a store called Mikasa. it's a really neat store, we sell crystal and fine china and stuff like that. anywho... i work there mostly in the morning and some eavnings, and work Rainforest the opposite of that. mostly doing doubles, which i don't mind.. it's just really time consuming..lol. my family went up to our cabin this weekend and i wasn't able to get the time off work to go with them :( Wish i would've been able to go because Jesse and i broke up yesterday, again, but this time i think he's serious about it. He told me that he's 'not capable of being in a relationship'. that kinda sux because i want nothing more than to be with him. i know he loves me and he knows i love him, he just doesn't feel called to 'that' kind of life... so i'm out. i woke up this morning hoping that it was just a joke or a dream and that he was going to call me and tell me he was on his way over to pick me up and go to the beach. i guess i just don't want to believe it's really true. i have to go

Well, the semester is coming to a rapid close. Tomorrow is my last day of classes!! Next week is finals... then I'm home for the summer! hurah!! It's been a good semester... it'll be nice to go home though. i wasn't able to go home much these past few months, so I really miss my family. I am a little torn though... Jesse is staying out here this summer. We won't get to see eachother very much I'm sure... so I'm a little sad about that.... okay I lied... I'm a lot sad. :( But, he has a great job now, and he's happy about it... so I am excited for him. He deserves a break, and he has finally got one. I'm just going to miss seeing him every day. I'm not even sure we'll get a chance to see eachother every week! :*( I'll be going home and working at the Rainforest again.. so I'm pumped about that. It'll be nice. I get my one year pin!!! Yay!! :D I still have to send my application in for the Semester in Spain, but if I get accepted then I'll be going to Spain in the fall!! That would be totally sweet!!! Well, I guess I'll write more when there's more to tell...

It's been a while so I thought I'd write about what has been going on in my life right now. :D
Semester is almost over so I'm figuring out what will happen next. I've got plently of opportunities one of them being a semster in Spain wchim I still need to look into further. But that sounds pretty cool... so I might go... who knows. Homework House has been going great. I think they are expecting me to do it again next year... which I wouldn't complain about... but if I'm not here I can't exactly do that... so...decisions, decisions. Christine Mutch (she's head of spiritual life on campus) asked me to consider a position as DC (Descipleship Coordinator) next semester... so I've been praying and thinking a lot about that and what that position would intail for me. The main delema is that I don't want to overcomit myself and by doing that stretch myself thin. Her and I have a meeting next week to talk about it more, and that'll be good. Jesse is seriously considering taking next semester and going to Jerusalum University in Israel. So we are talking about that a lot, and how that would effect things in our relationship.
but... I must be going for now... more info later.

Keep the Faith :D

oh man... I feel like a complete idiot.... last time I updated I completely forgot to metion my other room-mate Caroline. I don't know what came over me... :( So... I'm gonna tell you all about Caroline! :)
well, aside from the fact that she's an amazing woman of God, she likes to play soccer, which she does on the Cornerstone team! We have a blast together.... we enjoy the same after-shower rituals...which I won't go into detail about because its fun being a secret! lol
I'm so glad that she's my roomie!!
I love you Caroline!!!! :D

and she does have a boyfriend... sorry Robbie ;)

I love my roomies! this is soo great. We just had a Bible study in our appartment tonight with a bunch of girls from campus and it was really good. I think Jenni and I are hitting it off pretty good. We're sitting here just laughing and having a great time. I've got really bad gas right now and she keeps telling me to "go in the kitchen, I don't want to smell that!" (our desks are right next to each other) of coarse she's laughing when she says it... but I go anyway. :D She's fun... random like me. She just said that she wishes that it was snowing so she could go play in it. She makes me laugh. Amy plays softball, so we have that in common, but she's gone a lot so I don't 'know' her yet. But she's really cool, she's given me a lot of advice and she helped take care of me when I wasn't feeling great at the beggining of hte semester.

Jesse and I have been hanging out a lot lately. We had a 'romantic' dinner on Friday night. ;) I made Ravioli (from scratch, becasue that's how I like doing things) and we had asparagus, too. It was actually pretty good. He enjoyed it anyway. :) Then Saturday night we went to dinner on campus together and afterward we had a 'discussion' about where we are. It's been bothering me that I feel like we're dating but technically we're not. I hate talking about difficult things, but it needed to be done. Basically, he said that we're not ready to date and I asked him what was different between 'dating' and what we are now. Then our friend Nate came and got us to watch Shiendler's list, which I've never seen, so we went down to his room. Jesse said that we would continue to pray and think about this becasue he doesn't want ot be tugging on my heart, and that he would keep thinking about this. During the movie he looked at me and said "I don't like it when we don't get along, I don't like it when we dissagree." He's so sweet. That jsut melted my heart when he siad that, beacasue it's true, and I don't like it either when we don't get along and aren't seeing eye-to-eye. Anyways, we put that out of our minds for the night and just enjoyed each others company, and the movie. After that we went back to his place and he let me buzz his hair down! it was fun! It looks really good, to (and I'm not jsut saying htat because I did it) :) We've been talking a lot about the future lately and what that means for us. He desires to be in Jerusalem, and he knows that I would go with him. So we've been talking about what it would be like to live over there and teach. We'd be so close to everything. I remember saying "we could go to Spain for hte weekend!" It'd be so nice, and we'd be together, and I'd love that. I just want to be where ever he is, if that means Jerusalem, then bring it on! :D I'm ready. I'm still trying to learn patience... but it's soooo hard when all I want is to be with him all the time or at least be able to rest assured that he's with me, he's mine for real. I want that commitment from him. Yeah we've promised that to each other... but I want to proclaim that to everybody... ya know what I mean. It's difficult to explain... I think I should just stop talking and go to bed now... I have a busy day tomarrow anyway. I have a doctors appointment to get this stint removed.. yay!! Jesse's taking me... he's so sweet, and I love it when he takes care of me. *sigh*
g*nite all

Luke 11:33

well, I ended up going home last week (after only being back at school for a day and a half) to have surgery done to get the kidney stones removed. The first day of classes was Monday and I couldn't even go to all of them because I was sick all day long... yuk. So... I called my dad and he came to my rescue early Tuesday morning. I spent the night in the hospital and at 7:30 on Wednesday I went into surgery. Now I'm trying to recover, still actually. I was home until Saturday, so I missed the first week of classes... not so great... but I'm doing better now.

Okay... so last time I wrote I said that Jesse and I had split up.... again. Last week he came to me and told me that he was sorry and he does want to marry me. But that he's not ready yet and he got scared. He wasn't trying to get backtogether with me either, which was great, but he wanted me to know where his heart was. (know that I'm telling the really really short version) He said that he had let fear dictate our relationship and he hadn't seen it until just recently, and he needed time to work on that, but when he was ready he would let me know. Of course he knows me and knows my heart... and I will wait for him. He's just gotta prove himself... and he knows it. ;) so... when he feels the Lord give him the go ahead, the all clear, then we're going to be together again. I'm just so excited and it's really really hard to be patient; because he knows that I've wanted to marry him and known that he's the one for me since like... oh gosh I don't know... a long time ago. Now, he knows that I'm the one for him, in his words, "there's no other woman for me, your everything I want in a woman." So the Lord is definetly testing my patience and trying to teach me to have more patience through this. Of that I am convinced. We see eachother and talk occasionally, but if we do the time must be limited, because he's still working through a lot, and so am I. I have a hard time trusting. So I'm still working on that. :)

In other news... (I feel like a reporter, lol) I'm still waiting to hear back from Veronica and Shawn (they run Homework House) about this semester and getting into that new school. I went down to the office yesterday I think it was and talked with them. Shawn called the new school while I was there and set up a meeting, so now we're just waiting. I'm really really excited about this opportunity. I want to make a difference, and this is going to allow for that! *sigh* so yay! :)

My freind Holly got engaged!!! I'm so happy for her!! Chris (her fiance) is great, he graduated from Cornerstone last semester, he's a nice and he treats her the best that she deserves. If he didn't... I'd kick his behind!!! :D I'm excited to help her plan the wedding! o:) She's one of my best freinds out here, actually probably the girl that knows me the best. She's definetly a blessing to my life!

Okay... I think that I've covered all the high points... so ... I'm gonna go to bed because I have to get up in like 5 hours! ahh!!! bad sammie!

I John 4:18
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

if you get a chance you should hear this song... it's great!

i know it's been a while, but i only have a few minutes... :(
major events...
well, i'm still studying at Cornerstone for Elemetary Education and some other opportunities have arose in that field as well. I might be a site coordinator for an organization called Homework House. they operate at innercity schools tutoring elemetnary students after school, and this past sememster i was one of hte tutors. they've asked me to be a site coordinator at a new school, i'm really excited, i hope that the school lets us back in! :) it'll be great... Lord willing. :D
other major stuff... i moved out of my room with Trista, Carrie, and Cassie, into a room wiht two girls that i don't know at all. so this next semester is going to be fun. things just wern't working out with us four in there so i uhh took one for hte team i guess you could say. anyway... moving on... Jesse and i are not togeter anymore... as of about 2 or 3 weeks ago. i have far to much to say about that and not enough time so i'll leave it at that.
other things that have happend... well. yesterday i woke up throwing up and my back/side hurting so bad i though i was going to die. and i'm not joking or exaggerating...it really hurt. so after throwing up every 15-20 minutes for 2 hours i called my step-mom and told her and she came home from work and took me to the doctors and i have a couple of kidney stones. yeah... wonderful huh? so... i couldn't go to work last night or today... yuk.. well, i'm kinda enjoying it. o:) but it hurts and i pray that they just come out soon! lol.. anywho...i think that's about it!! so...i'm outta here!!! Grace to all.

wow, life has really gotten into full swing out here. classes are picking up, work has scheduled me every shift that i'm available, take that back, i probably wont' be pulling a double every Saturday, but occasionaly. i got my first paper back today, i was so anxious to get it! i really felt like the Lord wrote it with me. it was aweosme! i got an A on it! praise Jesus! :) life is good, tough...but good. I've been able to run into Jesse a few times. two weeks ago we didn't see each other all week long until Friday morning at chapel, last week i ran into him every night! it was great, ti's strange how on a campus so small we can both disappear one week and be able to find each other the next. this week i've run into him once today and yesterday at dinner/chapel. our topics of discussion have been intersting. i'll make the re-cap on here short for those of you who can't handle the mushy-gushy type stuff. :P WELL as you know we've been praying about marriage, and he hasn't come to a conclusion (at least he hasn't asked me yet) but we have been talking about it A LOT!! i'm not complaining! i've felt like i could marry him and that he is the man for me for a while and now that he's intersted in talking about it i'm all for it!! ;) the main area is that my 'dream' is to move to California, get a yellow crotch rocket (which he likes to call C-Rocks, he's cute), and become a first grade teacher. can you picture my students..."my teacher drives a motorcycle!" okay i'm done... :) i told him that i was getting to the point in my life where if i had to choose between California and him i would pick him because he is the bigger dream. and it's sad for me to want to give up that life-long dream, but i would do that for you/him. then of coarse, he started talking that WE could move to Cali.! I like the sound of that!! Sunday after church (which is somethign taht we are 'planning' with his brother and finace) we went ot hte beach. and we were talking about California (we've been talking about it a lot!!), because of the waves and what not... and he said that he wanted to start researching schools in California with me. so that's a big step. and i was a little confused because i'm not going to move across the country with someone that i'm not married to. and i told him i was confused but i couldn't figure out how to put it into words and he said "are you confused because i'm skipping a step?" is said yes. and he said "Samantha, i'm not going to move with you to California with you just being my girlfriend, if we move, you'll be my wife." so that made me happy to hear, and cleared up my confusion. :) and now i need to go because i'm sleepy.
God be with all of you!

wow...I can't believe how long it's been since I've updated this thing! SOO sorry to all of you who use this as a means to see how I've been doing in my life. My summer was really interesting. yeah..iteresting is a good word for it. lol...I worked a lot, and any time that I wasn't I tried to spend it with Jesse or my family. I decided to stay with my dad this summer, and found actually 2 jobs down in the Great Lakes Crossing mall area. I worked at the Big Boy in the daytime and at the Rainforest Cafe at night. I was actually pretty busy. People tell me that I worked a lot, but because it was my first 'real' job experience I didn't have anything else to compare it to so working between 50 and 60 hours in a week didn't seem like a lot to me. I really think that was Divine planning though, becasue this semester I have a real full load and this summer was good preparation for me. I'm taking 16 credits and I have an off campus job where I'll be working Thursday nights, Friday nights, and then probably pulling a 12 hour shift on Saturday. It's not going to be easy, but I've definetly got some help! :) so...that was my summer and pretty much what's going to be happening this semester.
Jesse and I just took a really big different turn in our relationship. and it really excites me, and makes me a little sad at the same time, but then at the same time I also have peace...it's kinda confusing so let me try to explain...:) We had a really serious talk yesterday about where our relationship is and wehre it has been and we've been arguing a lot lately. We voiced our opinions and theories as to why that might be (such as, once you've known someone for a long time, i.e. a year or so, you're guard is down and you're not 'putting on a show' for them anymore. you see them at raw them. and that's not always the easiest person to get along with.) so it was just a really good talk and he came to the conclusion that he needs to take some time (apart from me) to pray if I'm the person he's to marry or not. You might be saying "why would that make you sad???" well, becasue I know that means time away from him, not seeing him, talking to him, eating lunch/dinner with him, or any of that. but I told him that(and I praise Jesus for the words coming out right) "if a few weeks or months of sadness for me is what you need, means a lifetime of happyness then it's worth it." And don't missunderstand, I'm going to continue to pray in this time as well that the Lord's will would be revealed to me as well. We agreed (it was actually his idea) to pray in the morning and at night (not together, but at the same time or about the same time) so it's like we'll be together, but not... lol. i'm jsut really excited about what the Lords going to do. I'm trying not to think about him hearin if I'm not the person he is to marry. and we did briefly talk about that. but who wants to think about that. :) anywho...I need to go...homework...yuk..it has begun!! :) actually...i'm really excited about ALL, yes ALL of my classes this semester!!! and i'm going to declare my major... ELEMENTARY EDUCATION!!! God wants me to teach first graders!! i'm soooo pumped!! i'll try and update more. ;) no promises though...God be with you all.

okay, i have to make this a quick one because i've got stuff to do...

Jesse is the BEST (well, he's right behind Jesus;P) i haven't been feeling the best for hte past like oh i dont' know month! anywho...it's been really bad the past week or so, and last nihgt he called me and said that he was outside my door...i was like "what??" it was after 11 and he said that he wanted to be in bed by 11. i was really confused and immediatly thought that something was wrong...but i told him i'd be rihgt out. had to put a diff. shirt on becasue i was in my p.j.'s 0:) as i was getting ready to walk out hte door someone walked through it so they opend it up for me nad he was standing there wiht a bouque (however you spell that) of different kinds of flowers. i couldn't believe it...i gave him a hug and everyone in the lounge did a simontaneous "aaawe" it was great! sooo embarrasing...someone said "oh, look how red she is." someone else said that Jesse was great (and i agree). i looked at him and said thanx and gave him anohter hug (i had no idea what else to do, lol) and he said that he wanted me to feel better. then he pulled his hand out from behind his back and he had a box of Vicks Vapor Rub and said that he wanted me to be able to smell them. how cute! that in and of itself is hillarious because i talked to my mom earlier yesterday and she told me to ask Jesse to get me some Vicks and i told her that i was not going to tell him beacuse i didn't want him to have to go buy something else for me (he's already got me a whole bunch of medicine) but apparently she called his cell phone and left him a message so he knew waht she said. i had told him already, but it took awhile...anywho....so i have a bunch of flowers in my room and i can sortof smell them now...but the Vicks is kinda overpowering them. :/ but they are beautiful...just like him! ;) okay..i have ot go....

happy day to everyone!!!!

Wow, that's all i can say! lol

yesterday i wasn't feeling so great (getting sick), as a matter of fact i have a box of tissues text to me on the desk, can't seem to catch my nose. :0P (big nose) anywho, i went to the doc. on campus and they gave me some medicine, skipped class and took a nap (bad girl, i know, but i was unfunctionable), after i woke up i felt better, but not 100%, but it was ok. Jesse woke me up when he got back from workin' out and asked me if i wanted to go for a drive with him. i was like "sure!" so we got in his car and drove, i had no idea where we were going, which he likes to do to me quite often, and i love it! he told me that we were looking for 31, and that was all i knew. i laid my seat back to take an nap and the next time i looked up we were in this quiant little town wiht old buildings and side-by-side stores. it was really nice. he kept driving. then, i realized that we were at the water! like i dont' know waht lake that is but hte one lake that is on the west-side of michigan! 0:) after driving around some more he found a park and we went down to the beach to watch the sunset. it was so amazing, and extreemly romantic!!! at one point we went down to the waters edge to touch the sand and i wrote something in the sand to him, something neither one of us say very often, but i wanted to tell him right then and there, so i did. and he hugged me and smiled, we stood there for a while and then we got goofy...he took off running down the beach and i ran after him. and then it switched and he was chasing me, which didnt' last for very long because he's fast and i'm well, i'm not! lol so we watched the sun set some more and then i realized that we weren't in the same place where i had wrote him something in the sand, so i went back over there and hte water and washed it away, and i got sad and made a poutty face, ( i was sad, but i was overexaggerating) he gave me a hug and siad that it was just sand. lol and then he went up the beach more (away from the water) and got a big stick and started writting somehting in the sand. really BIG. it was sooo sweet! i went up to where he was and gave him a hug, and we ended up just standing in the same spot, watching the sun setting, for a long time, not realizing that we were still standing there until a helocopter went by overhead and circled us! it was awesome, we were laughing soooo stinking hard! it was really really cool! Jesse waved to the guy and he was on his way. really cute! we thought about it and how cool it must've looked from an over-head view, big letters in the sand and people standing htere hugging. *sigh* wow. so after that we just stood there and watched the sun set completely. and let me tell you..it was gorgeous! it was a rainbow at one point, really cool! i was soo thankful to God that He let me enjoy that wiht Jesse, i really needed that night, and didnit' realize how much until now. after the sun went down completly we went back into town and ate at a really good restaurant called the Kirby or something like that, no matter, they had realyl good food! then he drove me home, it was an early eavening, we got back before 11! which is not really like me at all! lol i was actually in bed by 11:30! strange! and i got up and decided to post my last nights events for all to read! but now i must get ready for a day of learning!! lol

take care and may God bless you all today and show you his will for your life!